i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize