she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
