For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I party with great urgency now.
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