so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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