How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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