i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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