i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
