yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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