The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
