If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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