If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
