I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
