I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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