I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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