i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
