My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
