he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
