i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize