A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
