wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
