...so i touched it.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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