I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
