quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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