when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize