I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
