my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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