Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
