i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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