she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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