can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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