So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
