It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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