So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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