I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
