They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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