As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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