I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
home. puking in laundry basket.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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