wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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