Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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