i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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