Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
