Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he thought i was a dude.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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