Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
