Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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