turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
