u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
