another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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