How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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