new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
