i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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