Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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