Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
