I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
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I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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