we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
