i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
