Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
