What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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