Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
