This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
