i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I wear drunk well.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
