I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
