am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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