so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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